I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
