How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
