My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
