is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
