so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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