dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
