just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
