Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You ruined the universe
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
