Swine flu. Run for my life!
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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