I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
