And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Randomize
