i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
