Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
