The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
