Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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