dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
