im so drunk with asians
where?
always
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
