come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
