Taylor Swift is so right about you.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
