omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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