another moral hangover. fuck.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
