I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
