i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
