I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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