Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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