No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Betty ford says i'm here all night
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
