i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
nutella sex= disaster
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
