wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
