Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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