He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize