just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
They are going to name an STD after you.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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