You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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