i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
