I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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