I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i drank out of a bidet.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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