Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
