Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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