You just made me feel so damn special
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
