I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Actions speak louder than pants.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
