so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
