my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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