u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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