She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
