Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
