remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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