birth control should be required to get into college
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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