Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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