If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
