They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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