Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
