yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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