how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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